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seeps into life

2023-07-17

3 minute read

Been off for a while. Got busy, and just didn't really stop being busy. I'm tired. I've been tired for a while. I'm struggling to get a normal amount of sleep. I can't remember the word for it - revenge bedtime? Something I heard about awhile ago: Staying up late to have a little time to oneself. I'm not even working that much. 8:30 - 5:00, technically. Of course, It takes me 1.5 hours to get ready and arrive, and another 30 minutes to get home. So much of work seeps into life. Being ready for work, fitting everything else around work.

My room gets so messy so easily. I don't know where to put all my things.

I thought I had a lot more exciting things to say for this entry, but now that I'm writing it's just complaining about my life. Oh well. On with it.

on with it

Something I really struggled to do today. Found it impossible to focus. In the last hour I managed to pull my thoughts into my work journal and settle on a path forward, as well as reading a lot about Optimizely and it's statistical analysis set up. I feel weird about reading, like it just washes over me and I retain very little of it. That's okay. 80-20 rule, some of will stick.

I took a break at midday, went for a quick bikeride up the road. Bought a brown hoody, pulled short of buying matching sweatpants. Maybe maybe soon.

It took me a while to choose the hoody size. It runs oversize anyway, but I found the large was just a little too much fabric. I love a baggy hoody but I'm wary of how much it adds to my silhouette, and affects my self esteem. Anyway I went with medium, a size I haven't touched in years. I'm still heavier than I've ever been, so I think it's just the particular brand, but still an interesting outcome.

I did a HIIT workout on Saturday morning and my body still hurts now. It was pretty awesome, but pretty taxing. I mentioned to H (who took me along): It's pretty humbling to see how far my little 3.2km runs are from an effective workout. I thought I was going to vomit at the end of this session. I'm thinking of doing it again.

what else in the way of material goods

I bought a nice kettle and some coffee scales this weekend. I forgot to buy actual coffee, but today I used the kettle for maté. It's really cool, I'm super happy with it. I need to put together a list of other purchases to make this month. There's just a few more things on the books:

I'm not sure about the last one. I probably will though, just to try it out. I've been thinking of replacing certain times in my life with other things, I've wanted to play drums for a while. Give the kit a bash.

Some new poetry books arrived today, I hope they're good. They ought to be. Rosa Pamphlet Bundle (Black Series).

what else

I've felt weepy again. Cried a lot in the weekend over some sad news. Honestly, I don't mind. It feels healthy.

wrapping up, hoping to journal more

Every light-shedding device will also inevitably cast shadow, and a map (or any representation) is also a light-occluding device. - Stephen Wright, Toward a Lexicon of Usership

Pretty uninteligible, but I like this quote.

I started listening to Ways of Being. I've admired James Bridle's work for a while.

Listening to

Morenika - Tarta Relena

Questions