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any reason in particular

2025-03-16

5 minute read

I'm in Porto now. I'm doing 2 weeks "volunteering" for a hostel. What that means is I'm working part time for 2 weeks in exchange for a room. Is this a good rate? No, probably below minimum wage. Is this a good idea? It's fine. It was easy, I'm speaking a lot of portuguese, and I've met some good people with good connections.

Been thinking a lot about what to do next. Of course, thinking is not enough, deciding is better. The question "is this a good rate" came from a discussion with a workmate, about whether or not volunteering is actually worth it. It's a good question to ask, and to think forward about my plans. Do I want to work? Not really. At least, not in the "get a job" sense. I love to actually do things, it's the bosses and managers that I don't like. Everybody I've talked to at this hostel despises the boss. He offered me a contract, I declined. "Is it worth it?" - a prudent question ringing in my ear.

I still have plenty of savings. I loved the week I spent as a creative residency in Hobart a few years ago. Why not do that again now? Find a cheap room, rent for a few months. Find a part time job, but no rush. Focus on the things I want to focus on.

what things do I want to focus on?

I'm going to brain dump a list of things in no particular order

gag comics drums poetry writing programming html fitness surfing bioregionalism the ability to start and finish a project music getting a better job software design low resolution pics photo editing reading more systems to help me manage complexity maths portuguese food contemporary art historical art fabric crafts (weaving, knitting, crotchet) tools bags computer science meditation

This isn't a list of goals, these are just things on my mind. I think my ongoing goal of comprehending and completing projects kind of let's me tie the rest together. I have a habit of zoning in on a particular thing obsesively for a while. I don't want to eliminate this, but I want to manage it and put it to use if I can.

manage it

I've been feeling scattered. I had my first portuguese class today, it was good I think. He asked me why I wanted to learn portuguese, and what were my goals with the classes. I don't think I had a great answer, it was good to be asked. I'd like to have a better answer. I have plenty of reasons and plenty of goals, but they don't exist as words. In writing them down I hope to better understand them, and shape them. I had to write about myself and my motivations for my WWOOF profile. It was a good exercise and I got a lot out of the self reflection. It's good to be reminded about that. This journal is, can be, also a powerful tool of self reflection. It can be a tool to shape myself.

a tool

Some of this writing should be outside this journal too, and I'm a little stuck on where. Notion is almost but not quite what I want. I think the online first model is offputting. I'm trying out Anytype, an offline first and open source copy of Notion. It's a little rough, and I think there's still something about the solution itself that I'm struggling with, I can't put my finger on it though.

I love using the terminal, I guess I wish it could just be text files? With a bit of styling? I think I want a terminal without a title bar, and a window to display images. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I loved my little "sillage" landing page on notion. It was cool as hell.

what else

I'm watching Severance and enjoying it.

I've been thinking about the "bloom" plant project I started last year. I think I can finish it soon. It's been good to get some distance from it.

I've been using mpc with mpd for music and been enjoying it. Listening to albums I already own. I've got plenty more I want to buy, or pirate. I also really like the server/client model. Very cool.

I finished blosh but was really offput by how slow it was across all the entries, and how clumsy it felt. I need to leave it alone for awhile before I come back to it. This was the logo though and I am happy with it:


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I had giardiasis symptoms return after drinking too much. Woops! Waiting for my appetite and energy to return so I can put it all at risk again trying to find a Francesinha that I like after finding the first one gross.

Francesinha is a sandwhich popular here in Porto. It's an exercise in excess. It looks like this:

             sauce
           fried egg
            cheese
     cheese bread cheese
             ham
            steak
           sausage
chips sauce bread sauce chips

The first one was all wet and idk didn't do it for me. Maybe its because as I was about to eat the girl in front of me's filling fell out onto her sandwhich. Maybe it's because the sandwhich was bad. Maybe both? Nothing happens for any reason in particular.

I'm nearly finished the crochet coin pouch I'm making but I've gone of script and it's looking worse. Will see how it goes.

I'm thinking of applying to a permaculture WWOOF farm that sounds kind of intense but also really good. It's got an extended application process, but looks like it provides an opportunity to really understand permaculture.

listening to

morrer no show - Kenny Berg

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