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to know one from the other

2024-02-21

3 minute read

I'm pretty tired, not sure how far I'll get with this entry.

I had a call with my brother earlier, mentioned an idea I had for small. I'd like to change it to have inputs. I'd like to make the "small project wringer" actually output something - a small version of the idea you put in. By doing this, it creates a structure to both understand the original idea, and produce a more realistically scoped version of the idea.

I did indeed fall asleep after writing that paragraph, and now I'm back the next day. I went into the office for some training, it was hell. I am unwell. I feel a little weird about going in, about having a party. I am sick so often, I feel like I'm being robbed of my time and autonomy. Is this chronic illness? Am I chronically ill? I remember when I broke my ankle and had to think, all of a sudden, about navigating the world as disabled. No one thinks they're disabled, until they are. Every decision they've ever had the freedom to make takes on a new light.

takes on a new light

Not the best heading for the next section, but a nice phrase. I have been more merciful on myself lately, it's been nice. I think I profess a laidback outlook but internally I often berate and lambaste myself for even the slightest shortcomings. Well, not as of late. A new light?

I threw a party in the weekend. One of the last big projects of the start of the year (end of last year). As I was preparing during the day I finished listening to The Scar. It was good enough, filled with interesting little details and fun ideas. I actually liked the ending - very good for an author who is usually pretty bad at ending a story. It's really a story about finding your place in the world, within the things you can and cannot change. The Serenity Prayer, but at sea and in a high fantasy setting.

change what I can

I'm going to get a crossbody bag (my 3rd) and hopefully a bucket hat. I've got a daytime tecno music festival I'd absolutely love to go to. I've got tickets, so G-d willing I'll go, but my friend who was coming with has fallen sick.I don't want to go alone, but I don't really have any other friends who are into this kind of thing.

O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

what else

I'm still reading The Sunken Land Begins to Rise Again and really enjoying it.

Barred from understanding the sea change in her mother's behaviour - first by memory, which offered only this discontinuity, these two separate women; and now by a loneliness she would continue to inhabit until she aged amd died in her turn - she found herself experimenting with a new idea: I shouldn't have come here.

I have some ideas for new little projects (all first ought to be wrung)

listening to

If you've got the time: Early World Catalogue - 16th February 2024 - "A breakfast-ish show for distracted deep listeners."

or if you don't: Hockets for Two Voices (EP) - by Meara O'Reilly

questions