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again, or still

2023-12-28

3 minute read

I'm sick - again, or still. Hard to say. I've tried ignoring it and I don't think it works. Positive mindset my ass.

Of course drinking like I did over christmas probably didn't help. It made me feel pretty good though, so who can say. I never felt hungover, so I didn't go that hard.

I've felt scattered today (brain fog?? panicking) I'm hoping writing this journal will help, but even if it doesn't it's good to do.

It's good to do

I feel stuck on my room - probably because I've thought about "sorting it out", I've talked about it, I've dreamed about it, but I haven't at any point done the hard work of actually thinking through the work, planning it, re-planning, acting. I need to do some of the less fun parts. My idea is to break it into pieces, and then focus on one per week. I think I could start doing a personal scrum as a way to knock off these projects. I've enjoyed it so far - it's been helpful to quantify and visualise how much I'm trying to do each week.

It's also been nice to realise that it's not a one hit solution to everything. It works really well for a big chunk of my work, but there's still plenty outside the organising of tasks, and inside the doing of tasks, that requires other systems and models of thinking. It's nice to see the complexity of things, to know it's not just my inability to grasp things in their entirety.

grasp things in their entirety

I'm writing this in neovim, and slowly getting more competent navigating the page. I can see how vim could be a powerful tool, though it has taken me a long long time to get this far. Skipping to the end of a line, jumping by word - these are things I often do in other text editors, and they've a built in natural part of vim navigation. I don't love the "ZenMode" plugin I got for it, but it's passable for now. I wouldn't mind one day writing a Pompom plugin so I could use neovim in fullscreen and still have the calm pomodoro functionality I have become so fond of.

what's on my mind

I've been wanting a new phone camera, so by-extension, a new phone. I don't actually want a new phone - my current phone works fine - except for the camera. It's got marks on the lens, or the lens protector. I've fixed a phone camera in the past, it lead to a quickly degrading quality of camera.

I haven't really been taking much photos, and I've slowed right down on editing. I'm not sure what I want to use next for editing - blender was great fun, especially with the filters. Maybe I write shaders for the next experiment? Not entirely sure what I want to do. I guess:

I guess I want photoshop (but not photoshop) with additional custom plugin functionality?

I've just checked - photoshop does do plugins. Only problem is I do not want to use photoshop. We will see.

I'd like to get back into return.horse - I've been slowing down a lot with it. I find it easy to start jokes, they take a while to get really funny though. Forcing a daily practice would be advantageous, more good ones would come out. I think my concern with making lower quality ones is unfounded. It's not that important. I should still try of course, but there can be a limit.

I want to be able to draft a few in one go. I might do another redesign. return, over and over again, every day the sun rises and the cowboy rides out.

Found out my cousin's flatmate has covid, so I might have contracted that.

listening to

CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST: The Estate Sale - Tyler, The Creator

The whole album, really enjoying it.

questions