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too much to heart

2023-09-25

1 minute read

I might have taken the last title too much to heart in relation to doing this journal.

Things have been up and down over the last 10 days. I am still struggling to focus or feel productive at work. I have ideas on what I want to do, but I don't know how to go from those ideas into solid outcomes.

I've spent a huge chunk of this evening cooking, as usual. I'm not very good at fast cooking, at least not when it's a newish recipe. There's bowls everywhere. It's okay though, I'm learning. Tonights menu: Minimal Bean burger, roast cauliflower, horse-radish pumpkin mash.

What else is new? I've been slowly improving with drums. I've had a lot of fun out of the house, meeting people and doing things.

Writing now I feel I've probably lost some of the fresh juice of the moments. Things were fun though. Stressful too, unfortunately. Not that I did anything stressful, just the stress I feel in co-ordinating my things, my time. I can't tell if I've always felt this way, or if focusing on it has made it worse? I never remember being particularly organised, nor ever arriving on time. I've come far, no doubt, but it feels in spite of the stress.

Things were fun

I went to Sydney last week and saw my sister for the first time in 12 years! She's my host-sister, in that she was in the family that hosted me when I went to Argentina in high school. She's my sister, in that we share a familial bond and network of care in relation to her mother, her other sisters, and her cousins.

It was an awesome trip. Sydney was cool, it was amazing to see my sister, and the weather was good. Only downside was I didn't plan so well and ended up staying up all night wednesday, and working all day thursday.

and I'll do it again

I've stayed up too late tonight, watching tv and exploring exif data in my photos.

what else

Mood inexplicably low - unsure why.

listening to

Pigs... (In There) - Robert Wyatt

questions