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It's entirely made up

2023-06-25

3 minute read

I'm obsessed with Kali Malone at the moment. I've downloaded her album, The Sacrifical Code, and I'm listening to it now. It'll go in the listening section today, unless I put the set I found it in instead. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but something about it keeps pulling me back. It's not catchy, at least not in any way I've known before, but the long droning and patient repetition makes me feel like I'm wading through a slow river.

I have a creative night coming up this friday, it's pulling things into focus a little and I'm re-prioritising things. I'm not going to make pompom or the other app just yet, they can wait. When I do make them, I think I'll use tauri - it's known for creating smaller bundles.

I was happy with the critique I got on my possum poem, I don't know if I'll bother fixing it up but I will continue to write down ideas and I aim to have something to bring to the next meeting of A Voz Limpia.

I went out last night with L and had a grand time. At the end we walked instead of taking an uber. On the way back we crashed a party, an upstairs 3 room venue with a live DJ, lazers, and a smoke machine. We only found it by walking, seeing it above the darkened street and asking a stranger about it. We entered confidently and encountered no trouble. The next day L said something along the lines of

I think there's some value in doing things the hard way

It's a good sentiment. Efficiency and comfort are lovely, but there are tradeoffs you aren't even aware you're making. I remember reading somewhere around the idea of the human scale and that cars shrink the world, and shrink your experience of it. You don't encounter the world in a car as much. You hop from park to park, place to place, without any engagement with the space inbetween. Worst of all, you don't realise you're doing this and you don't realise what you're losing.

what you're losing

I remember thinking awhile ago about how the order of tasks is worth evaluating, more so than I often do. If I have a list of things to do, and one of them is ordering something that takes a while to arrive, I'm better off doing that first so that it arrives sooner. Anyway, I think I need to finish return.horse refactoring so I can start doing that again while I do my other projects. It's not far off being done, but I've realised I'm not happy with the designs I've done. Coding designs that I like is a joy, but coding designs I don't like feels like a chore.

arrives sooner

I finished listening to The Dispossessed:

For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.

You can go home again, the General Temporal Theory asserts, so long as you understand that home is a place where you have never been.

To make a thief, make an owner; to create crime, create laws.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I often felt very weepy (even now, collecting those above quotes, I feel a lump rise up inside me). I find the one about deserving and earning very touching and validating, as it's a thought I had in highschool (well, something similar). I remember thinking about deserving: Where does the deserving exist? You can't see it, or measure it or weigh it. In fact it seems to be only a property bestowed upon others by those with the authority/power to decide it's reward. It's entirely made up, and is it really doing any good?

back to the weepy

I think I'm just feeling weepy this week in general.

what else

listening to

Verde Prato: "La Intimidad" - 16/06/2023

^ where I found Kali Malone

questions