it will never be enough
3 minute read
Went for a run this morning and with yesterday's one still kicking in let me tell you - my body hurts. I never imagined running could hurt your shoulders, but here we are. I did the run around 8:45, a little later than I might have liked. It's not a very glamorous route but it is about 3.2km, and that's perfect.
Work is going well though I'm feeling the pressure of my distraction and lack of decent time management. I always imagine things will just work magically, but I guess it will truly just take time and a long exerted effort to find a system that works for me. I'm enjoying the todo.txt approach, for nothing else but it is a format to stick to and doesn't ask any new software of me.
all kinds of love
Had a long phone call with my friend A last night. It was a beautiful reminder of why we are friends and how much I enjoy their company. We talked about love as a skill, as something you can be bad at and something parents can be bad at. It comes, I think, easier to some than others. Not just romantic love, but all kinds of love. I have this idea that the word love has been sectioned off in our language into only the most serious and austere commitments, and this hampers our ability to relate to each other. Maybe my heart is just big and soft, but I think love is all around us and within all our reach. Of course, part of this idea of mine is also that love is not enough, and it never will be. I think of the quote from Dead Poets Society:
“Truth is like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. You push at it, stretch it, it will never be enough. You kick at it, beat at it, it will never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment you leave dying.”
I don't think the insuffinciency of love is a bad or sad thing. The idea that love ought to be all we need or all there is a lack of imagination and a sad self deception. I don't think these thoughts are new across the board, but I don't often hear anyone thinking or talking seriously about love without using it as a blanket statement.
thoughts about thoughts
Would like to write those thoughts a little more clearly, but for now I'm not sure that I have them clearly and I don't feel like a journal entry is the place to do it. It could be cool to have a separate section of this journal to write ideas like that, then hyperlink to them in a digital garden style.
what else
Writing this entry I thought it would be cool to have a custom tag for friends names, another markdown idea on the backlog along with my idea for a poetry wrapper. The biggest issue is I don't fully understand how to extend the goldmark library, and I don't quite understand golang.
I've been thinking about DSL grammars, might have a go writing one for todo.txt lists.
I still really want to port pompom to a swift app, and to make a timekeeping app in the same vein.
listening to
questions
- What if you can just fill you time up with things?
- What would you have done differently, last year? And how does that change what you do today? (little q for the next entry)