why sure yet not just

4 minute read

Segun como viví las semanas pasadas, esto registro escribo un poco en ingles y un poco en castellano. If you're reading this through a translation program and this causes issues, you have my apologies.

It's been almost three weeks since my last entry. 20 days laden with the fruit of human experience. Once you stop writing your daily journal daily lord knows it's hard to pick it back up.

I've still managed to keep a small record of what I've been upto, in my bullet journal.

Para que grabo mis experiencias? En la canción "What Sarah Said" Ben Gibbard dice que

nuestros recuerdos dependen de una cámara defectuosa en nuestra mente

Y no sé, supongo que quiero preservar unas cosas que capaz no mantenga mi cerebro despues de tanta vuelta.

I've also used poetry lately to understand and communicate some stuff, and I remembered that the work is ongoing. My ability to both know and communicate how I feel is either innately sparse or I lost touch with myself at some point between "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" and "lean not unto thine own understanding.".

Having quotes and full poems included here, in this journal, helped a lot. I've got more to put in from things I've been reading lately. I've had more experiences I want to include.

• Marzo - 27 - Felt pretty low this morning, went climbing and really enjoyed it, watched the final of Gran Hermano with Alba in the evening.
• Marzo - 28 - Otra mañana deprimida, escalé de nuevo, llamó a mi hermano. Mandó un mensaje a Sofi para juntarnos antes que se vaya.
• Marzo - 29 - Not sure what I did during the day, probably slept? Was tired as hell, went to get a beer with Sofi in the evening and loved it. It's really special to meet someone and have a connection, I wish we lived in the same city. I wish I told her that. We talked about art, the indigenous mixed heritage of most of Argentina, and music (specifically Charlie Garcia's Clics Modernos). edit I remember what I did during the day. I went to get coffee with Alba, accompanied her to the USA visa place (idk what it's called cbf looking it up) and helped her print something she'd not realised to print. This stuff probably happens all the time, and sometimes it can ruin your whole day. Not this day though. Then I went to see Katarina and we ate some waffles shaped like fish. Food can be so fun.
• Marzo - 30 - Caught up with B+L, we went through chinatown then from Belgrano C to Tigre. Walked around Tigre, had a good one. Ate some good food, drunk some coffee. Went to a normal art museum in a cool old building. Someone hacked Alba's instagram account and we spent the evening regaining access and changing her passwords.
• Marzo - 31 - No tengo ni idea que hice. No tengo ni idea! La meta es el olvido.

Estoy cansado y es tarde. Tengo miedo que si dejo de escribir ahora no voy a re-empezar, que puedo hacer?

I do not even feel like I've reached the good part, the part of the writing where I really begin to feel!

I set out writing this entry to cover the last 3 weeks, but I didn't realise how much each week would take. I'll note this in my bullet journal, and keep trying to catch up in the days ahead. I think I can.

I am actually travelling solo now, and have genuinely got more time to myself, and better conditions to write in.

The next few weeks to cover get really exciting.

what else?

• Así que no quedo atrasado indefinitivemente, les cuento que estoy ahora en Cordoba. Me recuerda de Dunedin, un poquito. El frio, los estudiantes, la onda, no sé bien. Las sierras? La ciudad tiene un espiritu que me llama la atención. No entiendo el acento cordobés, me re cuesta. Fui a una noche de experimental free jazz, me encantó.

• Free jazz implies something about regular jazz. I've been reading Acá Empieza A Deshacerse El Cielo(by Lucila Grossman) and it's got this quote:

Quería ser libre. Bueno. Qué concepto de mierda: la libertad: ¿Ser libre al final es ser un victimario sin culpa?”

• I've been desperately thinking about return.horse and I've had some cool ideas. Here's a snippet:

I've been thinking a lot the last day about why I stopped updating, and how I can start again. I think the comic creation tool (forge) should be a standalone js app, hosted on the site. It exports through clipboard or download a csv file containing a r.h comic. This way you could use any browser, so long as you can later pass the file to the other forge.horse tools. I'm going to change the spec for a r.h file too.

• I want to remember this poem, not sure why just yet.

Boat

1. The man I love and I are at sea in a small boat.
2. We're in rough waters and there is a sense of
3. unease. I look towards the horizon and see
4. an immense, towering wave gathering force
5. in the distance. Very soon it will reach our
6. boat, and I know it will obliterate us. I turn
7. to my beloved and embrace him desperately,
8. telling him how much he has meant to me and
9. how grateful I am for every minute we have
10. spent together, even for these last painful but
11. infinitely precious seconds, but he fails to
12. appreciate the seriousness of the moment.

listening to

Youtube keeps recomending me HÖR live recorded sets, here's a good one by argentinian DJ Sol Ortega

preguntas

• por que demoro tanto en contestar?
• que puedo hacer para saber que es que yo quiero?