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give yourself up to Clotho

2023-01-27

2 minute read

I forgot to do the journal yesterday. We had a four movie marathon planned with some friends and I found that filled my time and energy.

In the morning lead up to the guys arriving I did very little, and I let my mind be free entirely of any thoughts regarding my trip or my future.

I've been empty of thought a lot in general, lately. I feel my life swirling around me and I feel incapable of grasping onto anything. I've had so many dreams, so many vague desires that only seem to exist to taunt me with their incompletion.

incompletion

I have made slow progress on RIPE. I have a more finalised storyboard, and I am moving forwards without 3D characters at the moment.

I ran it through the small project wringer, as I should have already done but was afraid. Something else I could put on that write-up, something about pushing through the fear.

It is amazing how long it takes to do anything at all, and how frustrating it is in the mean time.

butch cassidy

I watched Butch Cassidy and the Sun Dance kid. It was a great watch, very unexpected pacing and ending.

It's about being a prisoner to your own nature, running long enough to see the consequences of your actions, and not knowing what to do about it.

I have thought a lot last year that you can get very good at the wrong thing. Butch and Sundance are brilliant at robbing, and each have their own talented role in each heist, but it's not enough. They need to know so much more that they've never even considered.

It's a bit hamfisted to draw out such a moral from a fun cowboy film, but whatever, this is my journal. I really hope I've set myself on the right track for getting more of a grip on life.

I never met a soul more affable than you, Butch, or faster than the Kid, but you're still nothing but two-bit outlaws on the dodge. It's over, don't you get that? Your times is over and you're gonna die bloody, and all you can do is choose where.

choose where

All I can feel now is the chores, but this is all a real opportunity for growth and development. I've returned the Book of Changes to the library, maybe now I could start picking out quotes from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations to form my daily questions?

Book IV v. 34: Willingly give yourself up to Clotho, one of the Fates, allowing her to spin your thread into whatever things she pleases.

what else?

I've been enjoying some photography lately:

Alen MacWeeney a blurry black and white photo of a wide backalley, a child is running out of it and a dog is in the background

Simen Johan a scene of rubble and garbage, covered in black slick, with 50 little birds with bright yellow heads roosting about

listening to

questions