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shift and shuffle to the surface.

2023-01-21

2 minute read

Tennis

I went to the tennis yesterday, it was a fun outing and felt very novel.

Today I am going to buy travel insurance

One step closer to being fully organised.

What else?

Sleep is slowly going back to normal, still struggling to get to bed before 12.

sometimes the words really flow

and somedays they just don't.

I'm going to try, at the risk of forgetting to post, doing some other things and then coming back to it later.

Risked it and lost

I completely forgot to come back to it. I did however purchase my travel insurance, another burden off my weary mind.

It's wild that doing and planning fun and interesting things would be so punishing. It's a melodramatic comparison to make but it reminds me of a great webcomic I read a while ago: It Will All Hurt. It's a fantastically grim post-apocalyptic "fantasy-adventure" tale.

I like the idea that "everything is hard". It feels like a truth that helps me to come to grips with the way I experience things, and it helps me remove value judgements from the things I do.

Taking a break and going bouldering helped with the insurance purchase. Going forward I want to:

what else

I'm at the farm with a group of friends now. It's idyllic down here. We had croissants for breakfast and talked in depth about jam. Some mornings are perfect.

I'm less and less stressed about my trip now, things are levelling out. Still plenty to do, and I really need to practice pack this week to see how I go. I left packing for the farm way too late and it was a mess; Stuffing things in last minute and taking too many things.

I tried to roll out a game I created that I think is fun, where you each pick something on the road that you would eat and give a small explanation why eg. I would eat the stop sign, it's thin and probably chewy. It needs work, the two guys I was with couldn't get past the inedible nature of road materials. It feels like an exercise in material imagination, in reinterpreting things. But I suppose it feels like an exercise in futility and stupidity for my friends, and needs some adjustment (or maybe just a different audience).

A note to improve my writing: I use the words "I feel like" a lot and it takes the conviction out of what I'm writing.

I had job-departure drinks with my old workmate. She's going to work for Mecca. She's going to get a 40% discount, I'll try at least once to get some treats ordered in.

I'm surrounded by friends at the moment, not feeling particularly introspective. Maybe tomorrow?

YOU ARE AFRAID.
AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE.

So what, weirdo?

and

this is the world we live in

true.
we are in it and it is in us.

Good lines from It Will All Hurt Part 4

listening to

222_confide by otrapic

questions