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to understand and resolve

2022-12-29

2 minute read

The last few entries have ended with a desire to "return to baseline", or for "some kind of peace". Today I'll address this, in an attempt to understand it and in doing so resolve it.

I think it comes from too much socialising, and a disrupted sleep schedule. I'm relentlessly social, and this often takes a toll on my inner peace. I rush about seeing people and my inner well runs dry. I need equal time to myself, drinking deep from my interests and passions. It reminds me of my psychologists thoughts on "feeling like I belong" being necessary to mental well being, and the ways I've found to cultivate that sense.

What I would really like to do is find ways to not have a social commitments be such a drain on my energy. I find it so easy to run myself into the ground with catchups, parties and dinners that I put all my other things off. It's not a big mystery, but hard to see when I'm in it. Even today I have pending tasks to squeeze around a bigger appointment - a games night.

The flipside is to find ways for my personal life to be less demanding. Seeing friends is a huge part of my raison d'être and I get so much out of it. I think it's healthy and important to see friends, and to see them often. I could reduce my belongings, reduce my personal commitments, or (the ever elusive) have solid routines that meet my needs.

what in all my months off do I know of cartoons?

Now that I'm on a bit of a roll for listing my trappings I'd to air another: How have I been 'free' from work for months now and haven't got an impressive and rich portfolio of cartoons and projects to show for it? I haven't done nothing, but freeing up 8 hours a day 5 days a week must surely be more than what I've got?

Except it's not, because what I've got is what I've got.

I mustn't fall into the trap of despair.

Recognising the difference between my expectations and my outcomes is a gift, and in knowing I can "attempt to understand it and in doing so resolve it". Writing the paragraphs above helped me come to terms with my social and emotional stress, I believe I can do the same with my creative frustrations.

okay that's enough for now

I finished The Lathe of Heaven recently, will write about it soon. I'm going to go bouldering down in burnley now.

listening to

SETZIN DE FINAL DE ANO DA TROPA DO ARRANCA DIU - DJ LK DA ESCÓCIA

questions