only as absence
2 minute read
Struggling to start today. Yesterday was pretty good, felt very distracted in the morning but eventually finished the Docker tutorial and spun up me and Ts project, built the initial front end.
I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating - maybe I'll cut these entries down a fair bit day to day, then do a long one. I think I could get the same juice out of them, with a little more thinking about what I'm writing and trying to write. I've been reflecting on what I think is a very impressive feat of endurance - 1 hr a day on the same thing, every day. I couldn't have dreamed of doing this a year ago.
comis
I miss making comics and cartoons, I enjoyed the ideation stage for my hallozeen one so much and even the huge gaps in my drawing vocab felt like exciting opportunities. This is partly what came to mind when I was thinking about how much time I spend on the journal - if I spent half that time doing a little cartoon each day too I'd be a happy man. Of course, there's the embarrassment of bad drawings, but like this journal - no one has to see it! At least at first. I think I'd written about 26 entries before pushing this live.
what else
- Had trouble getting to sleep last night, no stress, just brain took a while to settle down.
- Talked to Mum and Dad, Dad talked about doing a media fast, and the monsters of a mind undistracted. I think media fasts are good, and I have been practicing doing mini ones in the evening, something I forgot about when I was on the phone. Initially, the mind unoccupied is a frightening thing, but I believe it can be trained like a muscle.
brevity
I went back to read some old entries, some of them are very short. I think my appetite for writing has grown over time, but sometimes brevity is a virtue. I'll finish with a nice prayer I read in Journal of a Solitude
There is really only one possible prayer: Give me to do everything I do in the day with a sense of the sacredness of life. Give me to be in Your presence, God, even though I know it only as absence.
listening to
questions
- How can I daily interrogate my wants and need, and make changes accordingly
- How can I care for my lemon tree, which despite my efforts has survived the winter outside