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tomorrow will worry about itself

2022-10-18

2 minute read

Sunny, high of 21, low of 12.

I didn't go climbing yesterday, will go see if the wall is open today (ie not flooded).

Normal portuguese class, followed by psychology consultation

I didn't do a whole lot yesterday, slept in and felt sluggish. Tidied my room a little, played brogue, watched some "Speaking Brazilian" videos. I have so far to go with portuguese, I speak stuntedly and forget simple conjugations. An overarching theme this year has been "things take a long time", both in my own sputtering starts on new projects, and on reflection of things I started years ago, and am blooming into fully now. It was 2009, I think, when I first started learning spanish. It was the second half of 2012 when I first wrote some psuedo code and a for-loop. 2019 when I started working in web-development, having grown frustrated with my own design work, having spent the last year learning more javascript skills online. April this year when I started using a bullet journal, my first consistent success in daily journaling. 28 years of being unorganised and forgetful, colgado. 2018 when I thought it would be good to learn portuguese, 2021 when I started regular lessons. My psychologist last night talked about the importance of trajectory, that each day brings decisions and those are the decisions to focus on. A sentiment I've heard before when I was younger.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I wanted some help with teeth grinding, a growing dental concern. Are dentists in cahoots with psychologists? My psych, after listening to me waffle on, suggested it sounds like decision making is causing this stress, and finishing each night with clear next steps for tomorrow might help. He goes for the simple and immediate answers, which long term might be wanting of a deeper analysis, but for now and on the other hand - "it's not that deep".

I mentioned in another post some articles I read about decision making, and found useful. The discussion around decisions with my psych has renewed my interest in this topic. If your right hand causes you to sin, chop it off. If your decision making paralysis causes you to grind your teeth to the point of dental damage, read a book? There are worse reasons to get into self help than avoiding self harm.

what else?

I feel excited to kick this week off, finishing off projects and kicking goals. Tuesday always feels like the real beginning, monday is my portuguese day.

I've blocked instagram on my laptop, it's already saved me a couple of muscle-memory pitfalls. You can block sites without any plugins or special programs, you just need to find your hosts file.

windows:C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts

mac:/etc/hosts

and add a line like 0.0.0.0 www.sitetoblock.com. This is mine for instagram:

#Louis distraction free measures
0.0.0.0         www.instagram.com

It's not super elegant, but it's very quick and while easy to undo, awkward enough to give pause

I also talked about routine setting with my psych, he mentioned that a routine can feature activites to center it, instead of sticking to a strict time (after I talked about struggling to have a consistent bed/wake up time)

listening to

22 - A Million by Bon Iver

questions