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the weather changes

2022-10-12

4 minute read

I spent the morning looking at flights, freaking out. More on this later.

an inspriring meditative practice

I like this journal: www.liyanzhao.com, and am leaning into the idea of journaling as a creative practice, not solely a tool for personal development. Having a consistent natural phenomena to track grounds the micro details of the personal inner life to the wider, larger world. Connection to the non-human, a body in the world as part of the ecosystem. Enys Men has the protaganist observing and recording a rare flower on a cliff's edge, and it's development (as it is a work of fiction, after all) mirrors her deteriorating mental state. I think even in our non-scripted world we can turn to natural observation to describe and enlighten myriad spiritual conditions, or at the very least compare and contrast. "That the weather changes in ways I don't understand, for want of considered focus and observation" is a little contrived, but it serves as an example of what I'm getting at.

asx bets

I worked for a few hours on the asx_bets_index project with Tom, screen sharing while I watched him set up the back end of the app. It was cool to watch, and really interesting. I have a lot of gaps in my knowledge, especially for backend development, but I don't think it would be too hard to fill them, after watching Tom set up things. Things we're using, that I'm not experienced with, are:

I need to finish the docker tutorial, then write what I've learnt, like I said I would near the end of yesterday's post.

After the backend stuff he watched me design for a but. It was awful, I don't know what I'm doing and it's worse when someone is watching. This comes from not designing for a long time, and not being confident in what I do. It's okay, no one cares. But I'd like to practice more. I feel like I never quite got the hang of design research, and trying to copy the labourious process of writing about each piece from uni was exhausting in the "real world".

looking at flights and freaking out

I have built in my mind a vague yet absolute idea of flying to Argentina this summer and spending 6 months there. The flight prices are in the realms of $2000 one way, and with 40hr flight times, stopping in 3 airports with self managed bag transfer. I get caught up scrambling for the cheapest flight, balancing locations and times, thinking about where I'll stay, what I'll do, what I'm doing, what do I want, why do I do anything at all, what's the point. I think I'll have to put off the trip until late Jan, not only to afford the flights but also to shed my material shit and get a job. To get a little mystical, I feel like a personal decision like this should feel good and if it doesn't I need to examine why.

I need to get a job

I don't like it, but it's a way forward and a necessary external force. It could be fun too? I see people creating all kinds of interesting projects to make themselves employable, why not try that? I guess, I am trying that.

What else?

FBI man talks about his big brain

I read a bunch of articles on the Farnham Street blog, off the back of this one about making smart decisions. It feels a little like a site for ambitious middle-managers, constantly quoting Warren Buffet and giving grind-set vibes, but there are some useful things in it. I liked this one about inversion - "Avoiding stupidity is easier than seeking brilliance.". It's about inverting the goal of a decision. Instead of focussing on what you're trying to achieve, which is hard to guess and contains a lot of unknowns, try framing the decision around what you're trying to avoid. For example, instead of deciding to aiming for spanish fluency I'm deciding to avoid losing my spanish competency. It made me feel a lot calmer about my decision making process, and widens the field for success.

I might try this approach with UI design for conjugação too, I've lost momentum with it a bit.

okay that's it for today

The goal of this game is to find you favourite room in the catacombs

listening to

Julia Jacklin and Big Thief

questions