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two movies!

2022-08-27

2 minute read

Had a fairly quiet day yesterday, found it hard to focus. Got a little bouldering done, nothing incredible though.

two movies

Watched The Green Knight and The Art of Self Defense. Enjoyed them both, a great movie night.

not feeling it

I'm really not feeling journal writing today. It feels like a chore, and I have very little to say. Sometimes it is like this, I think there is some value in practicing forging on. There are many things I do not want to do for lack of motivation, things I suffer for having not done. I think in part this is because I had two late nights in a row. More and more, expecially as I improve my sleep schedule, I find the later nights throw me way off.

This week I have got things done, but not as much as I hoped. C'est la vie.

Today I'll be slow, have a coffee, read, and make a R.H comic

I'm going up to Preston later for a BBQ at cousin Matt's place, I'm excited for that.

what else?

I don't know, I'm tired. This is cool

I'm back

I went downstairs and had a coffee, folded a foccacia dough I'd had in the fridge, made porridge, fed my sourdough starter. I feel a little better now. I think I had hoped to achieve a lot more before this point during my break. Not a helpful way to think about it - but I'd like to find a constructive way to reflect. The idea of planning out the two months down to the day was a way to do that, to have somehting to measure against, but it was just impossible to know what I really wanted at that point.

That's what this writing is about: some way to measure and observe my time and even reflect on it. I have a habit of imagining how good things I do could be, in a vague ethereal way, then feeling dissapointed when their concrete reality doesn't match my ethereal expectations. It's a shame, it robs me of enjoying all the really good things that I achieve. This journal has been regular, more regular than anything else I've done in this break so far. That's something to be proud of, and I think I've done a lot of good with it - even though it's not the hard hitting intellectual critique of my own practice that I hoped it would be.

what if else, else?

a foccacia dough in a tray sitting in the sun, covered in olive oil, beside a chair and some plants

The demoliton outside has cordoned off a zone again, with a bunch of what appears to be deflated footballs? men in hazmat style suits standing in rubble, some warning tape between them, some white rubbish bags and some deflated footballs scattered on the ground

questions