two movies!
2 minute read
Had a fairly quiet day yesterday, found it hard to focus. Got a little bouldering done, nothing incredible though.
two movies
Watched The Green Knight and The Art of Self Defense. Enjoyed them both, a great movie night.
not feeling it
I'm really not feeling journal writing today. It feels like a chore, and I have very little to say. Sometimes it is like this, I think there is some value in practicing forging on. There are many things I do not want to do for lack of motivation, things I suffer for having not done. I think in part this is because I had two late nights in a row. More and more, expecially as I improve my sleep schedule, I find the later nights throw me way off.
This week I have got things done, but not as much as I hoped. C'est la vie.
Today I'll be slow, have a coffee, read, and make a R.H comic
I'm going up to Preston later for a BBQ at cousin Matt's place, I'm excited for that.
what else?
I don't know, I'm tired. This is cool
I'm back
I went downstairs and had a coffee, folded a foccacia dough I'd had in the fridge, made porridge, fed my sourdough starter. I feel a little better now. I think I had hoped to achieve a lot more before this point during my break. Not a helpful way to think about it - but I'd like to find a constructive way to reflect. The idea of planning out the two months down to the day was a way to do that, to have somehting to measure against, but it was just impossible to know what I really wanted at that point.
That's what this writing is about: some way to measure and observe my time and even reflect on it. I have a habit of imagining how good things I do could be, in a vague ethereal way, then feeling dissapointed when their concrete reality doesn't match my ethereal expectations. It's a shame, it robs me of enjoying all the really good things that I achieve. This journal has been regular, more regular than anything else I've done in this break so far. That's something to be proud of, and I think I've done a lot of good with it - even though it's not the hard hitting intellectual critique of my own practice that I hoped it would be.
what if else, else?
The demoliton outside has cordoned off a zone again, with a bunch of what appears to be deflated footballs?
questions
- what am I framing negatively, that could be framed positively?
- eg I don't have much time today, I have to do these things I've planned vs I am excited to do the things I've planned