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2022-07-25

2 minute read

day one

Today was the first day of my 2 month break. I wanted to sleep in more, but was woken up with the sound of a demolition next door. I'm right away trying to implement a suggested routine from my psychologist:

This is to help with binge eating, and to help with body image / self esteem. I went for an hour long walk through the botanic gardens and listened to the latest Dewy Dudes episode.

Where there is dirt, there is a system

Later, I did portuguese homework. I want to take it a lot more seriously, now that I have a little more time. This is, I realise, the first time since uni that I've been learning something in a structured way. It's great, and important to make the most of it. There's a lot of systems and methods for structured learning I never really picked up, due in part I think to the extremely hands-on nature of my tertiary education and the relative ease of the papers I took. Well this is all changing. I'm using Anki to do flash cards for vocabulary, and learning how to use the app has sent me down a rabbit hole of all kinds of thinking on learning, memory, and systems.

I wanted to see a path laid out before me, instead I saw just 7 murky steps

I started planning the next few months, going over my brainstorms and trying to put together a routine. It was overwhelming. I've decided to focus on getting through this week and finishing projects I have actively on the go, meanwhile writing out my plan for the break as I collect my ideas and fill in the gaps around goals, systems and desires. I think I will keep a separate journal (from my bullet journal) for logging food, sleep, guts, mood, exercise and weight.

collecting the remnants of 3 and a half years

Took photos of some cartoons I drew on post-it notes at work, I think I'm going to turn one of them into a weaving. There's one of a boy crying a single tear. Maybe something to tie in with the last few lines of Death of a Son by John Silken.

He turned over on his side with his one year
Red as a wound
He turned over as if he could be sorry for this
And out of his eyes two great tears rolled like stones,
and he died.

a boy with a single tear big bird but it looks wrong a plant in a vase with a face the moon saying "help me" a teletubby asking to watch CSI a figure saying no a figure with three heads, looking content

questions